It all began approximately 3 1/2 years ago. Visits, phone calls, text messages and social media brought news and changes to my life.
The dynamics of my family has changed as well as friendships for one reason or another.
For most of my life I enjoyed taking photos especially of family, friends and wildlife. I have now lost interest in doing that. Feeding and watching birds as well as taking photos of them and sharing them on my blog for 15 years brought me joy, but I no longer enjoy that.
My life in general is now so changed that I feel like I am going to need to start all over. What does one do at 82 years old when so much they loved and enjoyed is no longer around?
Some days I wish I could move but I know that is not possible and where would I move to anyway that I would be happy living there. Other days I am thankful that I have a roof over my head and a home I feel safe and comfortable in. Most of my neighbors are nice and we have lived here for many years but some of them make me feel uncomfortable.
One thing I am really struggling with is trust. So much has happened that where trust was no problem with me before now has become a real issue. I am praying about that and working on being able to trust people again.
With all the negative that has come into my life I can still see positive and many blessing every day. Some days it is a struggle though to find those blessings among all the negative, but I will never stop looking wherever I need to to see them because I know they are there.
My brother and his family sent me a beautiful peace lily plant when my daughter passed away. That inspired me to once again after many years to have some house plants. I added four more plants so far and I am enjoying taking care of them.
I still feel lost though with not knowing what else to do to fill the time that I spent on past hobbies.
Getting out and about is not something I enjoy. After living a very active life before retirement I prefer and enjoy staying home most of the time now. I love blogging but right now something to blog about has not come to mind. I do hope I can once again begin thinking about something to post on my blog. Reading posts of blogs I follow I enjoy very much and want to continue doing that.
Since mid-July I have had bouts of being in the dumps. I’ve done some reading and watched movies during those times. Watching movies that brought many tears I think has helped bring me out of the dumps. I’ve done some cleaning and culling around the house, and I am feeling better.
I am thankful for my sister who chats with me on Skype what a blessing she is and I love her more than words can express. I am also thankful for all my blog friends who have encouraged and helped me not knowing it through what you post on your blog.
Hopefully now that I have posted what was on my heart it will be a beginning to my posting again. Love and hugs to all.
So good to have found your blog. I identify, am in your age range but hopefully, one door closes and another opens. It has for me, and it will for you too. Cheers, Muriel
Thank you, Muriel. I am happy to have found your blog and someone else in my age range. Your encouraging words are appreciated. Hope you are having a great day.
I have several house plants and their beauty does help me to see God’s creation all around me. Thank you for your honesty. Many times we feel we have to “be happy” and “positive” all the time. But we all experience moments when we are not. Keep sharing – the good, the bad. It helps us all realize we are not alone in this journey. Prayers that your inspiration returns, and you find plenty to write about.
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I am feeling better each day and with the Lord’s help I will get back to writing soon. The house plants are helping to lift my spirits. Thank you for the prayers. Hugs and blessings
Hi long distance friend. It’s nice hearing from you. I think with the cooler weather inspiration will come. No hurry. We are here for you. I will include you in my prayers too.
Good morning my friend. I am tired of the hot, humid weather so when cooler weather arrives I am going to be really glad to feel the nice cool, crisp air. Thank you for your prayers and being here. Hugs and blessings
Good morning Mags. Heat definitely makes a difference. Being born in Southern California I am familiar with it. 🥵As it cools I start thinking about things I want to do, but don’t. Like crocheting, but haven’t made an effort to learn. Maybe I’ll surprise myself and learn something new this season. I totally understand! Enjoy your day..
We can root for each other to find something new to enjoy in the new season. I crocheted some in my younger days. I didn’t enjoy it enough to stay with it so after crocheting a very large table cloth for my mother’s dining table that I though I would never finish, I gave it up. Have a great day.
We sure can.. That’s one of the beauties in life.. Friendship and kindness..
Hello and guess what, I’m going to be 83 in December and I am writing a poem about it. Funny how great minds think alike. You know pretty much about what I deal with every day and how I keep myself busy. I take only two medications for pain and a sleeping pill at night. I am blessed and I know I’m blessed because I never get depressed, never have experienced depression. I’ve had friends that live with it and I’ll take painful arthritis any day over depression. I wish you well and because of who you are, you’ll snap back pretty quick. You take care of yourself please, Eileen
I will be looking forward to reading your poem. I am blessed also and so thankful. One of my latest blessings is finding your blog. I know and have known others with depression and it is a terrible thing to live with. I am getting better each day and know when the grieving has run its course I will be doing just fine. Thank you for your comment. You take care also. Hugs!
Depression is a terrible thing but fortunately there is help medically to assist one over it. I have found the most effective way to recover from depression is exercise and the more the better. Keeping in touch on the internet or with neighbors is important although these days one has to be careful as people are not as kind or helpful as they were when we were growing up and crime and politics were not a dividing issue. You have lived a productive life contributing much to society and I’m proud to have you as a friend.
I do exercise but not as much as I should. When the weather cools off and I can get outside and walk that will help me feel better. I love being outside, walking and enjoying nature. There are a few people that are always there for me if I need to talk. When more time has passed since the deaths of my son and daughter that will help too. Having your stories to read is something I enjoy so you are contributing to my getting better dear friend. Thank you for reading and commenting on my post. Stay well and thank you for caring. Hugs
You are welcome and I look forward to hearing you are dealing better with your losses. It will take a while so take advantage of your friends to give you needed support 🙂
Thank you for your encouraging words my dear friend.
Well Mags I recently started buying house plants and I enjoy tending to them. It is hard to stay postive in these trying times and it is hard to trust people. I am going to pray for you daily. Too bad you don’t live closer to your sister – you two could have face to face visits. I have my husband to keep me out of the dumps. I know your husband has been gone for awhile and I am sorry for that. I don’t know how I would function alone. I like to stay home more than I use to. I hope you continue to reach out and let others help you when you feel alone and unsure of your future life. Hugs and love to you. God bless you my friend.
Thank you Peggy for your prayers. I appreciate you stopping by I always look forward to hearing from you on your blog or mine. I too wish I lived closer to my sister and some day I hope to somehow get to go visit her for awhile. I don’t mind living alone and was doing quite well until so much has happened in such a short time. I am getting better each day with the Lord’s help and the love and prayers from dear caring people like you. I think when the weather is cooler and I can get outside more that is going to be a big help for me to stay in a more positive mood. Hugs and love to you dear Peggy and God bless you.
I too am waiting for that cooler weather here in Arkansas. It has been so hot. This last batch of hot weather is truly too much. Ha Guess there is nothing we can do about the weather. I hope you do get to visit your sister. I have slowed down on my blog. Like you I loved taking pictures, but somehow it is not as excitiing anymore. Guess we all need changes in our lives to make life more interesting. Prayed for you this morning. Take care.
Living in Arkansas most of my life I know that the weather can be unpredictable and it seems the seasons are mixed up. Hopefully we both will soon have something to do that we will enjoy. Thank you for the prayers, you are in mine every day. Have a great day.
Grew up in Washinton, Oregon and Idaho – so I know the weather gets rough there sometimes. Have never been to Alaska, but my husband has.
I lived in Washington twice and Idaho for a short period of time. When I lived in Washington the second time I worked at Boeing. The flowers in Washington are some of the most beautiful I have ever seen. The trees in Oregon and Idaho I think are amazing.
I would love to live in the Pacific Northwest right now , but not during the winter time. Yes, the trees and flowers are gorgeous in Washington. The trees are gorgeous up in the Rocky Mountains.
The winters there would be what I would not want to live through either.
Sis, this post is good–you need to express feelings or they cling like a static fabric sheet. You’ve been through your share of grief, disappointment, and trying times. Please know that I’ll walk this life-road with you. You and yours are in y daily thoughts and prayers Sweet Sis. Those plants are going to thrive as you find the peace of nursing and caring for them. I talk to my plants-LOL I’m always here for you. Huge love and hugs coming your way. ❤ ❤
Thank you, sweet Sis. It is a great comfort to me to know that you have been and still do walk this life-road with me as I do with you. What a blessing it was for us to meet so many years ago. I feel like I have known you all my life. We are so very much alike. I have been talking to my plants and telling them to help me keep them alive and thriving. So far they are all still alive. The prayer plant has grown so much it has filled the pot already. Thank you sweet Sis for always being there for me. Thank you for your love the hugs and prayers. ❤ ❤
WOOT! So happy the prayer plant is growing with great care and faith! Love you so much Sweet Sis. ❤ ❤
So far all five plants are still alive. 🙂 Love you dearly sweet Sis. ❤ ❤
Thinking of you and sending lots hugs. Take good care.
Melanie I appreciate the hugs. Thank you for coming by, reading and commenting.
You are more than welcome.
I am kind of at a loss as to what to say about this. I think you are in grief and that takes time. You have had far more than your share. I will keep thinking of you and sending up a prayer for you to push through this. At times, I think we all reach a wall and you seem to have hit one smack on. Take care!
Thank you so much for your prayers. I know some of it is grieving still, but I am getting better little by little as the days unfold. Thank you for reading and commenting. I still enjoy your blog posts so much. You are kind and caring and I am glad I found your blog.
And I am super glad I found your blog too!
So heartfelt, Mags. 💞 You have been through a lot personally in recent years and so much has happened with Covid and society (politics, gun violence, and the like). I hope you can find your way through everything and on to a new happy place in your life. I think your new plants are a wonderful step forward! 🪴🪴🪴🪴
Thank you, Anne for reading and commenting. So far I am enjoying the plants and hope to add more and keep enjoying them. I love having something that grows and shows its beauty. You, dear friend have been a big encouragement for me to get myself in gear to finding my new happy place. Hugs
Thank you, Mags! Now I am thinking I need a few new plants to get me through the winter. 😊. (I may have to hang them out of Molly’s reach but I can still fuss over them and watch them grow).
You will have to place them higher than I will, my Chancy is not nearly as large as sweet Molly. Enjoy fussing over the plants and watching them grow.
Sweet Molly chewed through another harness this morning. She is not in my good books! 🥺
Uh, oh! Shame on that sweet Molly. Hopefully she will grow out of all the chewing on things she should not chew on.
I certainly hope so!
Sometimes it does help to put things out there. My mentor used to say “an expressed emotion is an emotion that can be managed.” I think there are many of us who have days and times such as yours, for similar reasons as well as different reasons. Where ever your journey takes you, there you will be. “We make the road by walking” when the territory is uncharted.
Hopefully putting it out there will help. Thank you for reading and commenting. Hope you are doing well.
Hang in there. I have found that going somewhere different helps, just to get away from the daily events of home sometimes. I love my home and family. Try to be around little kids. They always brighten my day. I have signed up for several hour or two hour classes at the senior center near me. I was stuck in Covid Isolation mode. But I am breaking free now. Just keep working at finding joy in the little or big things. Hugs and wishes for you to find your joy again.
I am hanging in and won’t give up on finding something interesting it is just not coming as quickly as I would like. Thank you for stopping by taking time to read my post and comment. I do get out and about, I just need to find something to do to replace the things I was doing that are no longer of interest to me here at home. I will keep working on finding joy again in something. Thank you for the hugs and wishes. Hugs to you.
Yes, just write what you are thinking and feeling. I think of my writing as for myself (very selfish, I know), and if my words contribute to someone else’s joy or interest, that is a good thing. Best wishes with those house plants. You are a better woman than me.
I don’t see it as being selfish if it helps you and we may never know if what we post helps someone else. I enjoy your blog posts and admire you for what you do for children. Thank you for reading my post and commenting.
Thank you for your kind words. I have found my online “tribe” to be very valuable and I hope my posts can reciprocate in some small way.
Your post are valuable to many I am sure, they certainly are valuable to me.
Time will tell how I do with the houseplants, it has been many years since I had some. Hopefully my thumb is still somewhat green. 🙂